We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
