where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
