I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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