So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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