so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
