Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Be still, my beating vagina.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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