so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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