no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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