I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
