you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
