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• (850): View more from Florida

  You drinking a lot?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  No.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Define a lot

  Fav 15 3307 875

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

  Fav 85 5233 1426

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• (561): View more from Florida

  i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM

  Fav 43 1685 4338

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".

  Fav 31 6460 1663

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.

  Fav 15 1414 4448

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup

  Fav 22 1475 9329

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.

  Fav 11 1387 1754

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• (925): View more from California

  At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way

  Fav 5 1013 2140

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just need some dick and some jimmy johns

  Fav 4 875 548

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• (360): View more from Washington

  OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!

  Fav 1 508 835

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home

  Fav 2 646 383

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??

  Fav 8 575 1251

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe

  Fav 5 334 450

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.

  Fav 1 13 77

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.

  Fav 0 16 77

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