Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
