I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
