The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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