im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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