You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The dick lei will go down in squad history
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
