she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
