She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
