Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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