During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
