Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
