My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
