the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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