I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
