The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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