I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
