During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
