We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
