My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
