My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Holy sore nipples Batman
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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