I didn't shave. On purpose
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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