Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
