is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
