found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
