I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This is my gift to your gina
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
