Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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