just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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