wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
