It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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