toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
