Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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