I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
