I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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