I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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