the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
