lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
