for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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