And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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