you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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