JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
