That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
