i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Why is your signature on my underwear?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i believe in u and ur pee
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